THINGS I'M GOING TO MISS ABOUT WORK (THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE THE ACTUAL JOB) PART DEUX

MASCOTS AND CHARACTERS

(Balloons)

Kylie M (Pre-Kylie P days): Burst by Dom using a pencil after he got bored of me waggling it in his face (the balloon).

Steven Hawking: Burst in a savage attack by Liz.

Gail Porter: Dom's faithful (And protected) mascot who was accidently burst by the man himself.

Professor Box:

When Dom wore round bottle-rimmed glasses and a black moustache, he became the silent and scary Professor Box. When I did the same I became an upbeat Victorian detective who said things like: "I'm afraid there's been another case of horrible, horrible MUUUUR-DEEER". This was also linked to 'Moustache Friday/Thursday' and 'Head Fuck Friday' where Liz decided to count down the seconds of the working day, much to the chagrin of everyone around her.
All of the good times stem from a truly amazing bunch of people. They have saved my smile and my sanity countless times and I'm going to miss seeing them everyday. Here's to the following people:

Blair Frame--One of the best things about working this tedious job for so long was making the acquaintance of this quirky character. Mr Frame is a true original with a brain full of bounce and bright ideas. Some of the best and creatively fulfilling moments have been coming up with various characters and ideas. I really hope that Fizzle will find his arena and soon. A spark such as him is going to be wasted at eon.

Phill--Phill Spicer, one of the nicest, friendliest guys I have ever met. He always has time for people and never seems to let things get on top of him. I've often envied his rational attitude as work-related things get to me so easily. Phill is also funny as fuck too. He created 'Bruce Hornsby', a part-man, part-rhino horn hybrid.

Dom--The White Kanye West, owner of the campest shirts known to man. Sitting next to this cool character was an eye-opener and we endlessly pranked each other and grossed each other out. It was never dull and, in this office, that's saying something.

Liz--Liz has become my 'on-screen sister' and, although roughly seven years my junior, she has given me much needed support and guidance during dark and confusing times. She's wise beyond her years, sweet but tough when it's needed. She never let's anyone tell her what to do and she stands up for what she believes in. This is something I've always admired about her. Liz's star is in ascendence, trust me.

Gaz--Although Gaz and I sort of knew each other during our time working for Barclays, we never really had a chance to chat. Working in this hell gave me a chance to get to know Gaz and find out what a good guy he is. Gaz has killer taste whose recommendations have broadened my cultural horizons and helped me focus on writing for me as opposed to everyone else. He's a whip smart, multiple winner of the 'Anti- Corporate Cup' who throws a mean house party. Everyone should have a 'Moran Invitational'. All hail the man they sometimes call 'The Viking'. Amen.

Portman--"YOOOOOOOU SHUT UP!" will always be ingrained in my memory as will the various dry put downs Portman has fired off since I've known him. Before he was unfairly moved from the team for bullshit management reasons, Portman was a great counter-balance to myself and the rest of 'Team Splendid'. Fake battles with him were always fun, even the 'Sour Milk Incident'. His girlfriend is also related to John Bonham.

Honourable mentions:

Denise, Tony, Rebecca Whitehouse, Beccy Pope, Neela, Dave, Louise, Lin, Kerry and everyone else who has lightened the load and brightened the day at eon.

To all the managers (Except Jenny) I raise a hearty middle-digit and leave you with instructions on how to go fuck yourselves. There are so many unpleasant,
corporate jobsworths at that company who deserve to be shot into the hottest part of the sun. It's people like them that are crushing the spirits of people who want to enjoy their lives, despite having to work for fucktards and losers that laughably call themselves 'superiors' and 'leaders'.

Especially people like 'Big Face'. If there was ever an example of what happens when consume too much corporate joy-juice, this truly horrible 'woman' (I'm still not 100%) is an example of why you should never, ever take your dogsbody office job seriously. You begin to look like something out of an Aphex Twin video and nobody likes you.

That being said, I'm going to enjoy my last week. Let prattle commence..