Aloofus, Aloofus...

So, it’s 2018. I’m staring down the barrel of my 40’s but with the same goofy mindset I honed in my 20’s. Mentally, it doesn’t feel as bad as it should. If anything, it’s a real deal breaker, something to keep me sane.

To that end, my resolutions for this year weren’t all ‘normal stuff I need to do’ but daft things that I really don’t. Things that cause people to ask ‘why?’ is something that charges me. Why indeed? Sometimes even I don’t know.

Amongst the slightly odd resolutions, I’ve decided to write a TV Guide-style synopsis for everyday, to be completed, and posted, by 10am everyday. This is pointless, part of me knows this but the other part needs it like you wouldn’t believe.


1.2.18
In the season premiere, Christopher has an incredibly lazy day and makes a list of resolutions which he will most likely give up on, like the idea to write a TV guide synopsis of his day, every day.

2.1.18
Chris returns to normal life after the lazy Christmas period with a renewed, can-do attitude. This lasts until around 10:30am when he makes a coffee that tastes of calor gas and children’s tears.

3.1.18 - “Stone Fists & Spreadsheets”

In the real world, Christopher begins to enjoy his job again, much to his surprise. In The Unreality, Chris faces the ultimate test when faces the fearsome StoneFist in mortal combat.

4.1.18 - “Blursday”

Christopher faces a win-lose situation as work piles up. In The Unreality, Chris adjusts to fame after his win in the Arena of Absolute Death.

5.1.18 - "Mammals & Machines"

In The Unreality, Chris is granted an audience with the Queen of the New Realm and worries that his britches are showing off too much 'mammal toe'. In the real world, Christopher stresses about his unpaid Transformers subscription and considers dancing for money.

6.1.18 - "Harsh Barley"

Chris contemplates the house move to Kings Heath as Kylie looks for opportunities in the West Midlands. In The Unreality, the meeting with The Queen of the Realm goes so well that Christopher is made a knight. However, a rival within the ranks could spell trouble down the line.

7.1.18 - "The Rival"

Chris enjoys a lazy weekend and works on his wellness plan. In The Unreality, Christopher and Mennick go head-to-head for the first time during combat training. Mennick vows to expose Christopher's slaying of StoneFist as a fluke.