Monday, February 21, 2005

The Weather Man

There is an old man who sits alone in a cold, empty temple in an unknown location. His age is a mystery but he's been knocking on for some years.

Some say he's been alive since time began.
Some say he is immortal.
Some people say some pretty silly shit.

This old man's job is simple. He can predict the weather. Everyday, he is approached by a group of men in suits and asked for his weather forecasts so that they may inform the world via the media.

"For Wednesday I predict........cold, very cold and cloudy with the hint of frost"

"What about Thursday?"

"Thursday will be gripped with sheets of water that cascade down onto the land..."

"Rain, then"

"Aye, rain"

"Will it clear up?"

"Yes, at the hour of 5pm"


He then sleeps a blissful slumber, safe in the knowledge that the world is prepared for the day. They know wether or not to pack a brolly or wear a coat.

He predicts the weather for the entire world.

He recieves no money for his service.

All he asks for is a kiss on his wrinkled forehead from a girl of 'virtue true'.
Not a lot of people know about the old man and to him it matters not.


Most people are lead to believe that the weather is predicted using satellites and computers. This upsets the old man but he ploughs on with his just cause, forever and always.

P.S It's going to fucking piss it down tomorrow by all accounts.

7 comments:

Anti-Blogger said...

I say we hang all the weathermen/women/people. If I made as many mistakes as they...well...I would probably still have my job, but it would be hell.

Christopher D. Bate said...

Death to the weather-fools!

Blog ho said...

does the old man have any...influence? If so, tell him I'm sick of gloom. it's starting to either affect me, or effect me.

Christopher D. Bate said...

We've just had snow here.

I say snow, it's merely a thin layer of glorified frost. Us Brits freak out over snow.

lolabythesea said...

I want winter... can he make that happen??? Oh ya, he isnt God, just a roaming, silver bearded vagrant. Im sick of summer. Gimmmmmmme WINTER for heaven's sakes.

Christopher D. Bate said...

You want winter? Gimme Sun! It's cold and depressing where I am.

lilmammal said...

Ho: You should get the hell out of Nebraska. That would solve some gloom issues.

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