The Smile Detector

Hello. You may or may not like this little short. It's about going to the doctors which I used to make a career of a few years ago. It was actually part of an odd sketch show I wrote called 'Baron Saladback' which, as usual, never left my Laptop (Until now.)
A few of the sketches were to feature in Series 3 of the ITV's 'The Sketch Show'...But so far there hasn't been a series 3. The show was pretty generic anyway, to be honest. I'm not really sure where my strange bits would have fitted between the 'knock knock' humour that show seemed to thrive on. Still, you never know....
I'm rambling.

Enjoy.

'The Smile Detector'

INT - DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY

Steven, an emotionally battered young man talks to his shrink.

STEVEN
(Quietly)
I'm just so depressed. I keep thinking about her and how much I miss her. I saw her with her new boyfriend the other day. She looked so happy. I just, I don't know, feel empty. I don't know what to do. I don't want to feel like this.

DOC
Steven, it's perfectly natural to feel like this. This is all part of a natural process. You will get through it. You will.

STEVEN
I just don't know what I'm going to do, Doc. I don't want to live with this-

DOC
Actually, I've got just the remedy. Something that will help the heartache

STEVEN
What's that? I'll try anything!

DOC
It's a new medical discovery from America. It's quick, painless and has helped nine out of ten depression sufferers.

STEVEN
What is it?

The doctor makes the motion of getting something out of his pocket. He presents his own hand balled up into a fist with his index finger and his thumb sticking up.

DOC
(Proudly)
It's the Smile Detector.

STEVEN
What?

DOC
It's a medical breakthrough.

STEVEN
It's your hand.

DOC
(As if to a child)
Where's that smile? Where's that smile?

STEVEN
What are you doing?

DOC
(Waggling fingers wildly)
A smile has been detected!

STEVEN
(Annoyed)
Stop that.

DOC
Where's that smile? Where is it?

STEVEN
Stop it!

DOC
Where's that smile? Where is it?

Steven cracks into a smile.

DOC (CONT'D)
We have a smile! We have a smile!

Steven is now smiling.

DOC (CONT'D)
There. We're all done. Come back next week and we'll see what else we can do.

STEVEN
Thank you, Doc.

DOC (CONT'D)
Don't thank me, thank the Americans.