I'm sore today. Very sore. My back hurts and my knees are aching. Head is fine which I'm suprised about. Jack is suprised too. It's Jack's fault I'm hurting.
Jack doesn't care because Jack doesn't know. He's blissfully unaware. He effects millions of random people nightly and everywhere.
I drink Jack from a plastic cup. Damn you, Mr Daniels! Last time you made me sick into my own underpants and last night you made me go toe-to-toe with one of my best friends in a sumo match at The Planet.
I can't fight. I'm terrible. A swing and a miss everytime. Put me in a rubber fat suit and my skills deplete quicker still.
Matt is sturdy. I tried everything. I used all my force and I couldn't budge him. I tried dirty tactics but he was more than ready for my Wile-E-Coyote tactics.
Jack's Juice made my reactions and my balance all shonky and shitty. I kept slipping on the matt and tripping over my own feet. Matt beat me 3-1.
I'm about as macho as a three day old Kitten.
Anyway, that was that. Fun was had and it will only get better/worse as the weekend chugs on.
The lesson here of course is don't drink too much J.D if you're fighting Sumo-style and don't tell sexy dancers in cages that they 'move like a sexy eel'.
Whatever you do this long weekend, play safe, have fun and use the phrase 'Hot Cribbage' at least once. For me.
Love you like lasers
C-Monkey
xoxox
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