Beckett The Conversation Bee

There is a very large bee that buzzes around my house. He has taken something of a shine to me. He follows me around as soon as his little eyes spy me. I think he likes me.
He also talks. He told me on our third meeting that his name his Beckett, after the writer Samuel Beckett. He likes all that stuff. Sometimes he quotes lines from ‘Waiting For Godot’ at me. He’s a chatty little bee.
Our friendship is somewhat tenuous. He likes to test me. Sometimes he mocks me. He likes to point out my flaws and dissect them. He says he enjoys it. I’d like to think he means well.
Anyway, one slightly sunny day, I was in the garden squirting random spiders when Beckett flew up to me and attempted to scare me. It failed as I’m not easily startled.


-Hey, Chris.

-Beckett.

-What are you up to?

-Nothing much. Bit broke so I’ve got to stay in tonight.

-Your wild weekends finally caught up with you, huh?

-Yup.

-Well, it was fun while it lasted.

-It’s not over, Beckett. I’ve just got to curb the nights out for a while.

-Have you got a girlfriend yet?

-No, I don’t want to rush into anything.

-People are talking.

-Who?

-People.

-What are ‘people’ saying?

-That you’re gay.

-What?!
-Yup.

-Who is saying that?

-People.

-Who are these ‘People’?

-Everyone. Some of them you know, some of them you don’t. They’re all saying the same thing.

-That I’m gay?

-I’ve heard you’ve started calling yourself Saint Gaylord.

-That was a joke between me and Geezer Squeezer! It doesn’t mean anything!

-What do you have a tee-shirt with the name on it then?

-It’s a joke!

-You say that but--

-Beckett!

-I’m just trying to help you out, chum.

-In what way? You always seem to take the piss out of me and embarrass me in front of my friends.

-I do not.

-You do. You’re a mean bee!

-If I don’t educate you then who will? Who is going to read to you while you sleep and tell you that it’s going to be alright?

-It is going to be alright! Why would it not be?

-People.


Beckett went onto wind me up for a further hour. I couldn’t shut him out because he kept finding a way into my house. He’s a sneaky little sod.
One day, he wound me up so tight that I tried to drown him in my neighbours pond. Have you ever tried to drown a bee? It’s harder than you’d think.

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