Live Bate

A lot of you probably won't be aware of this but I supposed to be helping out with Live 8 today. I was supposed to be giving a big speech on stage just before Travis rattled out their 'hits'. It was a well written speech that was supposed to really punch the message across and slap the faces of the rich, powerful and stupid.
I was snubbed at the last minute, however.
Bob 'Rich Gypsy' Geldolf took me aside (Well, his henchmen did) and said:

-Carol.

-Chris.

-You can't do your speech.

-What? Why not?

-Will Smith is going to do one instead.

-Will Smith? You're bumping me for Big Willy?

-Bejesus, you should be used to that by now.

-What?

-The point is that Will Smith is going to do it. He's a huge star and you're, well, you're just you.

-Well, that's a slap in the face, Bob.

-That's just the way it is. To be honest, we were a little concerned about your speech anyway.

-What do you mean?

-Well, the draft that was handed to me by one of my lackeys was a little, uh, well, it consisted of you talking about your hair and doing something called a 'moustache solo'.

-The guy from Coldplay loves it. He's going to help me out.

-You've been dropped. I would say I'm sorry but *Meh*


He walked away and stole the ice-cream I was eating.

He's made my Celebrity Slap List.