R.I.P HORDAK

Alan 'Hordak' Robinson, age unknown, was found dead in his fortress in the early hours of yesterday morning. The He-Man and She-Ra botherer was once a prominant and dominant figure on Eternia but, after his reign of terror was brought to an end by The Masters Of The Universe, he sought gainful employment in marketing for an up-and-coming fortress company, E-Fortress.com. He was both respected and admired by his co-workers, who said that his hard work and drive made the company blossom and grow. He also began to improve peoples lives, a reversal of his recent job of destroying and crushing all and sundry.
Hordak suffered a near-fatal accident five years ago when his Mantisaur collided with a large rock. It is said that he wasn't concentrating on the road and seemed to be drunk and cackling menacingly. Authorities charged him with 'Driving a steed whilst under the influence of evil schemes'. He managed to convince the judge that he was "merely laughing at a joke someone told him in the work's cafeteria". He promised that he wasn't planning on returning to his old, evil ways and was looking forward to taking E-Fortress to the "next level".
It was rumoured that this 'next level' involved the construction of "some kind of big hammer" to crush his old foes, He-Man and She-Ra. The case against him was reinforced when his co-workers found thousands of google searches, venomous blog posts (under the alias of Megatron) threatening letters and blue-prints marked 'Revenge against He and She/Project BWAHAHAHA!'. Hordak stepped down from his job and retired to his castle where his downward spiral into depression began.
Hordak was found by an old henchman, a sort of man/bee hybrid. Hordak had hung himself with his own cloak, leaving behind a note that simply said: 'Bastards'

He-Man and She-Ra were contacted but only He-Man responded:

"I've know Alan for a number of years, battling him and fending him off only to let him go when he pleaded for mercy. He always had a way of speaking to my softer side and I was glad when he moved on and found a new vocation. I was shocked to hear that he was planning another evil scheme as I thought he was above all that. He sent me a Christmas card last year so I thought the proverbial hatchet had been buried. I hope he finds the peace that evaded him in life"

Tributes have been made at hordakhowcouldyou.com and some half-baked songs have been created by Casio-playing, bedroom 'musicians' on You Tube.

THIS POST COMES WITH ADDED FORGIVENESS..

Mend fences. Move on. Get happy.

You can only stay annoyed at someone for so long before you forget what the fuss was about.
I think I'm guilty of being a little too sensitive.
I don't want to lose anymore sleep or good friends over it. Life is unruly enough.

History matters after all and every 'Peter' needs his 'Carl' (Or Jay/Silent Bob, Laurel/Hardy, Howard/Vince, Jez/Mark...You get the point)

Cheers, H.

Sorry to hear that The Cooper Temple Clause have split up. I just wish Queen would take the hint. And Status Quo. And The Rolling Stones...

Blah.

NEWSFLASH

Love alone does not pay the rent

OPENING TO A NOVEL I'LL NEVER FINISH...

Lance Gifford was, of course, an off-kilter kind of character. The kind you'd find washed up within the vowels and consonants of a good, airport book or a bad, twentysomething American screenplay. His life was as askew as his shirt and almost as low as his jeans.
Lance wanted oh-so-desperately to be considered something akin to cool. Sadly, Lance was about as 'cool' as a happy, active radiator. He was into the latest sonics and often clicked his fingers to what he assumed was the 'next big thing'. He always tried to get there before they (They being a band) became famous sold their souls to a man who, when the 'heat' wore off, wouldn't know what to do with them. Lance wanted that to be famous, if only for 2.5 minutes. Fame would be wonderful. He wouldn't lose his head. He'd use his wealth to keep it firmly attached. He didn't know what he'd be famous for exactly. Maybe he'd invent something of use, something amazing that would cause people to make noises of agreement and wonder.
Lance was a man of modest means and honest principles. He, to popular disbelief, had kissed at least three girls he wasn't directly related to. One, a rather large little lady in a jumper, ended up taking a shine to him. He soon realised she was quite the mad monkey. It took him about four years to realise this. Lance wasn't the quickest bullet out of the gun. After that mess of a muddle he decided to kiss other things and not give them his phone number. Just to be sure and extra safe, Lance buried his phone in a friend's garden.
Lance Gifford was (and maybe still is) one of 'those folk'. He likes to keep himself to himself and his eyes on the road. He believes in fate but not in ghosts. He thought he saw a phantom once but it turned out to be a carrier bag attached to a stick. His house mate was a 'little off' like that. This is why Lance lives on his own, in a self-built house, with a cat who, if played the right music, will laugh like a human. He never did it in front of other people. Lance figured that the cat was shy.
So what of a story? Is there a story to be had here? Is this merely a bunch of words slapped together to distract you, the reader, whilst I loot your mind for ideas, coins and memories? It's not really anything. Lance is a figment and, somewhere, in universe where up is down and cats laugh like drains, this could be happening. I could be wrong, however. That's happened in the past.

NOTE

I'm sorry if you come here and things have been a little half-hearted. i haven't really been in a blogging mood of late. Things have been happening, exciting and cool things but I haven't been able to put them into words. Plus, blogger has been causing me no end of grief.

I do read all of your blogs. Even if i don't comment, i'm still very much curious about your lives. On my dull and downer days, you keep me entertained. Sometimes It's good to know that, while I maybe feeling lost and bored in the office, you are doing cool things in warmer places.

Mirror Mask is a good film if you have the time to check it out.
I'm working on some cartoons. One, maybe more, will feature familiar characters.
Me and my brother are in a music video. My brother mostly.
I'm going to start putting more fiction on here. It's better than nothing (I'll leave that up to you)

Love and Lasers,

Christopher B

A nice song

People forget how good Dire Straits are/were and that saddens me a little.

ALL THAT JUNK ETC

"Hi. Hello. It's me again (Don't worry I'll talk slow...)"

Ah, I can't wait for the new Ryan Adams record. That, of course, was a line from the track 'Breakdown into the Resolve' which has been rattling around in my head all night and all of this morning. I'm in a tremendously good mood.
Why? Well, I'm off work until Tuesday and we kicked it off with a very fun night at The Planet. Rebellion was the night and fun is what we had. 'All you can drink' is a great idea, more so when you share the cup and glug whatever looks tasty. I drank for the first time in ages. It was nice, save for the bout of heart burn. We drank, dance and had some chuckles. It was kind of cool to indulge in some boozing. I haven't drank for quite some time and I didn't feel like the odd one out this time around. Being sober in a group of drinkers makes you feel like a spare part sometimes.
There are pictures. Good ones. Kylie took them and I think I took some. It's a blur of 'wtf' at the moment. I'm also babbling. It's called 'free blogging'. You let your mind wander like a sheep. I used to wave at sheep when I was a kid. I'm not sure why. I don't do it so much anymore. (See? free-form piffle)
I'm in a good mood because of good times and good weather. I think a meal somewhere nice is in order.

"...Breaaaaakdooown into the void, to the resolve"



Tonight, we're most likely going to watch Bill Hicks and drink tea. Swish

A ME ME FOR YOU YOU:

1. My 'ex' is still - Dead? Alive? Who cares? It doesn't matter. She doesn't matter. She's a virus in a frumpy jumper.

2. I am listening to - Bill Hicks. I've introduced Kylie to his genius.

3. Maybe I should - Start sending some work off and be more creatively active. There are load of distractions lately, 90% of them are good.

4. I love - Threadless tees and bright yellow nail varnish.

6. I don't understand - Why people like the following things: Peter Kay, What Not to Wear, NME and NME branded bands (The Twang, The Gossip...all that rot),

7. I lost my respect for - All of the sell outs, of which there are many.

8. I last ate -Fish finger sandwiches

9. The meaning of my display name is - It's the name I was branded with.

10. Love is - The Rapture sang: "Love is all my crooked soul will ever need". That covers it pretty well.

11. Someday - All this will be fields again.

12. I will always - Drink tea, write, over think, hate play doh, dream

13. I never ever want to lose - my laptop, my girl and my sanity

14. When I woke up this morning - I felt full of beans. No work, just fun.

15. I get annoyed at - Lots of things. Ignorance annoys me and that pretty much covers all of the off-shoots and shades of that.

16. Parties - Should never have a clown but always have cake. And banter.

17. My pet - I live with a cat called Jinx but I'm reluctant to accept it as my own. It's really my house mates cat.

18. Kisses - Yes.

19. Today I - Had a lovely lunch, Blair came over and we played Smackdown, drank tea, watched some Wrestlemania and then some Bill Hicks. Fun!

20. I wish - Me with more freedom. I wish 'Death Rides the Nine' could have had a bigger push.

21. I really want - Another chance to entertain.


01. Is your hair wet? It's a kinky mess.

02. Is your cell phone right by you? Just sitting there, mocking my mp3 player whilst sipping gin. It's a bastard and that's why I'm replacing it with a Nokia. They're nicer to people and they don't shout at the sun.

03. Do you miss someone? Who would I miss? Everyone I want to be here is.

04. Are you tired? A little. It's getting late but I want to enjoy every minute of my time away from work.

05. Are you cranky? Nah, I'm happy as Larry, whoever Larry is.

06. Are you wearing pajamas? I will be soon.

HAVE YOU -

01. Recently done anything you regret? I'm regret free. Go me.
02. Ever lied? A little. Everyone has to at some point, if only to protect someones feelings.
03. Ever stuck gum under a desk? That's horrible. I hate that.
04. Ever kicked someone? Yes. Last thing I kicked was the cat. Actually, it was more of a shove with my foot. I didn't boot it so don't call the Cat Squad on me.
05. Ever tripped over your own feet? Yes and other peoples. I also tripped on the light fantastic. It wasn't all that great.

TODAY -

01. Have you cursed? I swore but I didn't curse anyone. They'll be no shrunken heads this night.
02. Have you yelled at someone? I don't yell, I talk. Yelling solves little. Besides, everyone I know is cool. I'm probably more likely to yell at myself.
03. Have you gotten mad at someone? Not today.

RANDOM -

Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
Everyone is on my mind right now. It's a party and they're avoiding the nibbles.

Q: Do you have any siblings?
One brother and One sister

Q: Do you want children?
Not really. There is no such thing as children anymore, just little adults with beady eyes and a penchant for thievery.

Q: Do you smile often?
As often as I can. My frown is usually upside down.

Q: Do you wish on stars?:
I wish on everything just to hedge my bets.

Q: Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
No. I'm a rebel. Smash the system and all that. Wipe your feet first.

Q: Do you like your handwriting?
Sometimes. Most days I can't even read it.