Friday, January 07, 2005

Sandwich Wizard

I love winding up the chap who sits next to me. It's become something of a hobby/addiction. A neverending battle to see who cracks first. We prank each other a lot. It passes the time.
Today, while he was enjoying his carefully packed lunch, I pretended to be 'The Sandwich Wizard'. I gave my best David Blaine impression for added effect. It went like this:


CHRIS
Hey, fella. What's in your sandwich? What's the filling?
HEM
Roast Turkey.
CHRIS
Roast Turkey, huh? Well, Sir. I'm going to change the filling of that sandwich using the power of magic.
HEM
What are you on about?
CHRIS
(Points to sandwich)
I'm going to change your roast turkey sandwich into a corned beef sandwich, that's what I'm going to do.
HEM
Eh?
CHRIS
(Waggles fingers and stares at food)
Have a look. I bet the contents of your sandwich is now corned beef!
HEM
(Looking)
It's still roast turkey.
CHRIS
That tastes like corned beef.
HEM
(Worried)
It looks and tastes like roast turkey. Is it okay to be scared?
Having failed to change the contents of his sandwich. I then attempted to change the sex of his chrisps. It was then that he moved away from me.
That's CHRIS 1 HEMS 0
I don't make up the rules. I just live in the jungle, you dig?

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