If I Were a Rich Man #1: TERRY

I would purchase a large area of land next to my huge mansion. I would build a huge pool big enough to house a great white shark. I would call this shark Terry. Terry and I would be best friends. I would tame him and learn his shark-like ways. We would swim together, laugh together and watch T.V (Wheeled in from the house)

I would feed him with cattle, homeless people and people I don't like. The latter would benefit us both. He would be fed and I would be rid. I would lure my nemesis to my house with promise of cheese and wine. After a few hours of cheese and small-talk I would say "Hey, have you seen my great white shark?". Intrigued, they would join me in the garden to see the beast in all it's deadly glory. They would stare in awe at Terry. I would then 'accidently' push them in and Terry and I would both be happy.

I would also have a large harp in the middle of the hall-sized living room and I would get hire a person to play the harp when I enter a room. This would help relax me after a hard day of being a big rich bastard. If he/she didn't relax me to my desired level of calm, I would ask/demand him/her to go and feed Terry.

"Oh, I've trained him to eat from the hand"