I've been thinking about what I want my gravestone to say when I die. I think it should read:
"Here lies Christopher David Bate 1979-????
He tried, bless him"
If I'm cremated I want to be thrown into the eyes of someone I don't like.
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13 comments:
It would save on the funeral bills. What about being thrown into someone elses back garden. Perhaps with a note attached that just says 'Deal with me'.
The person doing the scattering should have to read a pre-written insult to complete the 'ceremony' E.G "The last laugh is on the dearly departed Christopher Bate who hopes you burn in Hell, fucker!"
Something like that.
I have my list ready.
May I give the speech? And throw the ashes? That's awfuly clever the ashe in the eye bit. Reminds me of the Big Lebowski.
I don't want to be cremated. I don't want to die, though. That's a whole other issue.
At my funeral, in lieu of a eulogy I want someone to stand up and read a page out of P.J. O'Rourke's Modern Manners:
"Everyone who really loved me, take off your pants."
LOL thats soo funny the only thing i could think about was like...... i dont know being put in someone i dont likes food or somthing like that lol but i like urs better - kara
Put in someones food is a good idea. Then they could choke on you.
I'd like a heroes burial. Live footage on all the channels, Diana style.
"He was a simple man but what a fucking funeral!"
Perhaps hung from a great height and whacked with sticks like one of those things filled with sweets that Mexicans like. But instead of sweets---there are hot guts.
check this:
http://crazyisascrazydoes.blogspot.com/
Death preparations aren't something I'll need to worry about, as I expect to live forever as a disembodied brain. The first hundred years will suck, but by then I'll have fuilly developed my psychic powers.
All hail the mighty brain!
Why does everyone assume they're going to die?
Hopefully, we will all go on to live long and rich lives. Admittedly, it was a rather grim topic to bring up. Sometimes it's good to laugh at death. What else cab you do?
And if to emphasise that point, I'm off to Utah to finish making a film about just that.
Shameless plug.
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