All Choked Up or The Shortest holiday or just plain ‘Oh Dear’.

Hey, everyone.
I’m back early after a disastrous holiday that ended today by me leaving early.

WRITTEN SATURDAY July 16th

I hope you are all fine, well and dandy. I just thought I’d blog up some details of my ‘holiday’ to amuse anyone who gives one-tenth of a damn and to preserve the precious moments forever (Or for as long as physically and electronically possible)
We got here early, perhaps a little too early. Dad likes to get here as early as possible because he a) Loves the Cotswolds and b) Likes to get his monies worth.
The others soon turned up and Nick and I caught up with Adam, Andy and Dan, our three cousins. It’s been too long since the mad crazy one in Southampton so we had stories to tell and it wasn’t long until we were getting in the spirit (And spirits) and making the most of a place which mainly caters for children and the elderly.
We drink a lot when we meet up. We really punish the liver. Our main venom is Vodka and lime. It’s a potent little thing which Andy introduced me too a few years ago (At my little sisters wedding, no less) I find that it brings out the bizarre side of me and usually involves me getting my pasty white arse out.
(Side note: My cousin handed me a disc with last years photos on. We played a game of ‘Stars and their Arses’ photos are available on request, should you want to have a gander at my gluts)
Anyway, we were drinking and avoiding bingo (The ‘Fully grown ups’ love that stuff so we took our banter and rude stories outside.) whilst soaking up the pleasant weather before the sun realises that this is Britain and it only ever rains. We were talking about all the things we’ve been up to; Andy has moved in with his new girlfriend and is doing the grown-up responsible thing that so far has evaded me, Adam brought his lady along. She’s a sweet American girl who was more than happy to drink and shoot the shit with a bunch of over enthusiastic fellas whose dialogue mainly consists of the rude, the obscure and the homoerotic. It kind of made me wish I’d brought someone along to share pleasant moments and gay banter with. This was the first time in ages that I felt really alone and single.
I jawed about a certain girl (Who called later and made my night) and bitched about another. Vodka Limes loosen the tongue. There was a lot to catch up on.

Also, the place is a bit of a sausage fest.

The night took an unfortunate spin when my pesky tonsils decided to expand and choke me at 3am in the morning. Nick was goodly enough to call an ambulance despite being really drunk and really tired. (The chap had been busting mad moves on the dance floor a couple of hours previous)
So I had to spend the first night of my eagerly awaited getaway in Great Western Hospital being pricked and drugged (And not in a good way) in order to get my tonsils back to their normal size.

It was an allergic reaction to something. We’re guessing it was from the curly fries I had. Bad oil or something. It’s happened before, a couple of years ago. I had a bad kebab from a takeaway called ‘Fat Fanny’s’. I shit you not. It’s a real place that serves ‘real’ food.

I’m going to have an allergy test when I get back to see what the problem is/was.

Happy days.

In the words of Andy: “Trust you to leave a session in an ambulance”

Just thought I’d share. It’s good to share.

This is the first of many entries regarding the week away.

NOW:

Alas, the week was cut short due to ‘technical difficulties‘ (or family issues if you want to use the proper term) and I decided to come home to the people and places that I enjoy. People that aren’t judgemental or dull and places that play decent music and more rocking vibes. (Fuck Crazy Frog!) I also have wounds to nurse. I fell down a very big bank last night and I have cuts and bruises aplenty. It would have been worse had I not caught hold of a tree. If not, I would have been in the bottom of a deep, dark river.

Not the greatest few days for me but it certainly was eventful.

I’m going to fill out the rest of my days off with fun and frolicals with my nearest and dearest because that's what life, my life, is all about.