Scorpions are the dolphins of the desert.

Whilst slavering away feverishly for 'The Man' yesterday, I was talking to my co-workers about scorpions. Elizabeth told me about a women in China who lived with scorpions. They grew accustomed to her. I was amazed because I always thought those ugly little things were, well, mean bastards that liked poisioning things.
I decided to do a little research on this and this is what I found. I think my findings will shock you a little. You may even feel the need to leave your seat and shake your head outside.

Scorpions are the dolphins of the desert.

They are actually kindly souls who, much like the their aquatic non-relatives, have helped many a stranger find their way out of the harsh terrain of a massive dessert or a dense jungle. I read about hapless hiker, Francis Milk who found himself lost in the lesser known harshlands of the Reebok jungle (Formally the Pepsi jungle) He had lost his map and was running low on food. He was without a clue and he found himself in Shit Creek.

Then a scorpion scuttled over. Francis thought he was done for. He was under the impression that scorpions sting random people for chuckles. He was also told that they carried guns.
This lack of understanding may account for his hopeless navigational skills.

Anyway, Francis was shocked to find out that the scorpion had a map in his right claw and a Mars bar in the other. He offered them both to the weary traveller and Francis took them, thanking the small creature greatfully.

To cut a long and rambling story short, Francis found his way home. He used the Mars bar to fend off a hungover lion and he managed to meet up with his friends and head home.

Francis was one of many who have been saved by nature's most misunderstood creature. Here is a quick list of people who have been saved by scorpions:


NAME (ACTIONS OF SCORPION)


Donna Medley (Fended off muggers in the Sahara Dessert)
Albert Stomach (Oversaw divorce from wife.)

Richard Yes ( Solved the murder of his daughter and brought criminals to justice.)

Shelly Radiator (Rebuilt house after harsh storms turned her home into mush)

Lance France (Helped clear his debts with easy installments)



So there you have it (or don't, if you're feeling awkward) Scorpions are great. Be nice to them and they shall be nice to you.

I'm here to help, you know. I'm not just eye-candy.