Monday, March 06, 2006

No good deed goes unpunished

I think the cold walk in the snow has taken it's toll on me. I'm feeling pretty sick at the moment and I going hot and cold...is there a doctor in the house?

The fallout from the other evening has resulted in something resembling harmony between me and my ex.
She was moved to text me yesterday but, unlike before, my world didn't come to a halt this time...
Although I won't take her up on her offer of meeting up anytime soon, I feel pretty proud about the way I behaved. I helped someone who needed to be helped. She just happened to be someone I used to care for.

..I don't know what is going to happen now. She seems to be stuck in something of a rut. She said that she has nothing in her life and that she is trapped with a load of guilt and regret (This may not be the whole truth just a version she thinks I want to hear..you can never tell). There is nothing I can do about this because to help her further would be damaging to myself. I have been there before and it wasn't pretty...

...She's a world away from me now and it's a shame she hasn't found her own happiness. Although karma seems to have picked on her, it would have been nice to see that she had settled a little bit. Ho-hum....

...Thank you so much for your support and kind words over the last few days. I'm sick as a dog (I'm going to have to miss the 'After Hours' event tonight) but I'm not hung-up on things. Your gestures have helped to make me realise that I wasn't as stupid as I originally thought...

...Thanks to Steve, Mark and Nick for coming to pick me up at Stupid O'Clock in the early hours of Sunday morning. It was a rescue and I'm pretty sure I'd be a hell of a lot worse off if it wasn't for their friendship. To me, that's an example of what true friendship is all about.

7 comments:

Stephanie said...

You need sleep, warmth, drugs and maybe a trip to the docs if you don't get better soon.

You've been a kind and thoughtful person to try to take care of her, but now you need to take care of yourself, Mister. I know what it is like to have someone who was once dear to you tell you how terrible their life has been since you left. Thing is, if they can't take on the help you are able to offer then there isn't much you can do. It's hard to see someone in pain, but you need to look out for your own sanity too.

Take each day as it comes. If she gets back to you then deal with that when it comes, but always remember to be good to yourself above all else.

Stephanie said...

I agree with Stephanie. She's a smart lady. You're pretty wise yourself, though sometimes the hardest part is heeding one's own advice. We do each have to find our own happiness. Take care of yourself.

Cathy said...

I hope you are feeling better soon. The fact that you have amazing friends is a reflection of the fact that you are likely an amazinf friend to them as well.

Devil Mood said...

I'm glad we got you back to your senses. :) Now you need to get your body back to normal - good luck and have a fast recovery.

DanProject76 said...

Just like Earl Hickey discovered, it's all about the karma.

I love that show.

JM said...

A lot of good will come out of this one small deed.

sarah said...

boo for doing stupid things in the name of our past!

yay for awesome friends!

you're not alone there.. and believe me, people have done FAR worse than that. don't be too hard on yourself!

i drove to san francisco and nearly drown myself in the bay due to depression!

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