The truth shall set you free

What a weekend it has been. Friday was Steve’s leaving bash and Saturday involved touring to peoples houses and enjoying the sunshine with them. Firstly, it was a BBQ at David J’s where we eat, bantered and played crab football. This was followed by another gathering at my friend Viking’s house to celebrate the yearly ‘Moran Invitational’.
‘The Moran Invitational’ is a pool tournament where people pool it out for a chance to win a huge jelly baby (Or at least have their name attached to it) I decided not to play because I really, really suck at pool. I caught up with some old friends and co-workers instead. That proved to be both entertaining and interesting.

You see, my old, much missed former house mate was there and, typical of the man, he was pleasant, funny and eager to get on with things despite the way we parted ways. I’d made my peace with him last year when I bumped into him at Blast Off but this was my first chance to really chat to him. It was like nothing had ever happened. We hadn’t missed a beat.

I knew that going to a party with a bunch of my former co-workers would bring up old issues involving my ex. Thankfully, no-one slapped or insulted me. Instead, they offered their take on things, confirming my fears and, in a strange way, liberating me.

If it’s not already clear from my previous posts and state of mind over the past year, my ex was a bit of a rotter. She played with my emotions and almost destroyed me. I have been very, very forgiving in an effort to forge ahead and pay tribute to the good times. I have been civil when people have advised me not to. I wanted to believe that the rumours about her were just that; that the girl that I once loved more than anything in the world would be incapable of such cruel, heartless actions.

I am throwing away those rose tinted specs and I am going to break that olive branch in two.
My ex cheated on me. Something that she has always flatly denied when I foolishly took her back a couple of years ago. She still denies it and I refused to believe it despite a painful, stinging feeling in my gut. She promised me. We used to take promises very seriously. We used to take ‘I love you’ seriously too.

Well, I did.

The people I spoke to had nothing to gain from talking to me about my ex. They were people that were there then. People I should I talked to before taking her back and giving her the second chance she didn’t deserve.

Fucking glasses!


Here are some of her greatest hits:


* 2002 Kizzy and I started Barclays. I was weary of working with my girlfriend of two and a half years. Working relationships are rarely a good idea.

* 2003. After a rocky period where she kept saying things like: “I don’t love you as much as I did yesterday” and threatening to live to Germany for some unknown reason, She topped things off by going away for the weekend with some guy she met through a friend of mine. She said that it was because he lived close to the airport. I didn’t want her to spend a weekend with a stranger but she did anyway. Her reasoning was that if she stayed at his, she could get the flight to Spain to visit her horrible cousin.

* After a fight about my Grandparents (I wanted to visit my ailing Grandfather and she wanted to stay in bed) she left my house in her P.J’s, walking up the street before sitting in the road. To my embarrassment, my brother had to pick her up.

* After moving out because my Mother couldn’t stand her, I got a place with co-worker Aaron. She was sick that week and between moving out, going to work and looking after her, I was pretty wiped. I was looking forward to our first night of real freedom. She decided not to spend the first night in our new home. She decided that she wanted to see friends in Nottingham on the basis that she was bored. I remember, somewhat confidently, giving her an ultimatum; going to Nottingham or staying with me (I don’t think this was unfair)
When I called her back a couple of hours later, she was drunk in Nottingham.

* After splitting up, she went off with a co-worker, knowing full well that this would make our break-up harder for me. During this period she told people that I used to beat her amongst other things. She said worse about the guy when we got back together. All bullshit.

* She returned to me, gracious and supposedly happy. She was content with cheating on me with the guy she hung out with during our split. She got pregnant. My house mate found out and called me in tears. I chose not to believe him because the girl that I loved wouldn’t do such things. The poor guy she was seeing also tried to tell me. The world tried to tell me!
The girl that I loved wouldn’t do such things (Repeat to fade)

* She was. She told me and her parents that it was during her time away from me. It seemed a little odd to all of us but we had no reason to doubt her. Naturally, I was crushed. Stupidly, I decided to support her thus causing Harry to use the line: “There is a fine line between noble and stupid”

* Darkness. I don’t need to tell you what happened next. It was harsh enough to put me in therapy, to take to a place I’d never dreamed I’d ever see. I didn’t want to be there, surrounding by women with scornful looks on their faces. Her mother holding my hand, telling me that I was a ‘good boy’ and that it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault. I was powerless, trapped in a situation that was like a nightmare; that still causes me to have bad dreams.

* The day after she went out and got drunk like nothing had happened. I sat at home and tried to deal with it. It took me a lot of time to deal with it.

* She left me for someone else about a week after my Grandfather passed away.


These are just highlights. Stop me if you think I’m being unreasonable.

I’m sorry to harp and bitch on about this. This is the final time, I swear. The upside to this is that the people involved have moved on and made new and better lives for themselves. There are new loves for the people she screwed over so carelessly. The guy she used and abused is now a friend of mine.

Me? Well, you know I’m fine. It took a long, long time but I’m in a better place. I’ve buried all my hatchets, made my apologies and attempted to square myself with karma like an episode of ’My Name Is Earl’. Her life is in the dumper. I won’t bang on so gleeful because that would be bad form.
It’s good to know what goes around comes around.

I’m done now. Thank you for reading. Judge me as you see fit. I value your opinions because I value you all. Feel free to be truthful.

Truth is pretty new to me.