Michael Bay's Kaboom Corner #1

Howdy, dudes! It's the Mbay Dizzle up in your online blog hizzle! (This is what the young people say, isn't it? Can this be checked before it goes out because I don't want to sound old and out of touch)

It's your favourite action movie director Michael Bay here. You might know me from big screen explosions like Transformers 1 to 23. I'm a big deal in Hollywood. I work with the best, most muscled people you could ever hope to meet. I'm the guy that knows how to film action that could literally knock your socks off. But, hey, I'm not here to talk about my successful, unfathomable career in cinema, I'm here to talk about something that matters to me, something I'm truly passionate about...

Cows.

Bet you didn't expect me to write that, did ya? I bet you were thinking: "what's this hip young gunslinger into apart from making modern classic movies? Cocaine?" I can't even be mad at you for the last part because I'm so full of youthful energy and passion for shallow, wafer thin storytelling! What could the Mbay Drizzle (don't like Dizzle autocorrect when you type this up, Mike) possibly love about cows? Well, listen up/read closer because I'm about to give you the 442 on the whole deal (note: check if 442 is the right thing to say, DO NOT make yourself look uncool) on my pow wow with cows.

Cows produce milk.

Mind blown, right? Like a poor representation of Megatron fighting though a CGI city, it's awesome to think, and witness. I've milked a cow and, boy, was that something. When you take life by the udders as much as I do, it's a true honour to grab a cow by its cow cock and squirt out ready-to-drink milk! It's like diving off a building or wrestling a massive shark and I have done both loads.

I own three cows. I did own four but I accidentally blew it up during the making of that film I made a few years back. It had guns, pecs and pecs shooting guns.

When I'm not making massive man movies I'm thinking about, watching, milking and photographing my three horse-like friends. They are the best friends the Mbay Dongle could have. 

Next time, I will be talking about where beef comes from and you WILL NOT believe me when I tell you. It will make you as excited as you were for Dark of the Moon! 

Next time, gangsters!