I wonder what Tony Blair's last day will be like? I wonder if he will write a global office email slating half of his co-workers whilst breaking all the office rules he can. You know, like everyday you-and-me's do when we are on our final day.

Will his buds get him a stripper? What will they sign in the card?

It boggles the mind.

Personally, I think he should get a boot up the arse on the way out.

Hard. A real cheek bruiser.

I'll do it for the sane people of Britain. I'll say: "It's the very least I could do now fuck off with The Joker and don't come back!" (Then I'd offer to slap the shit shades off Bono)

I'll also throw my beanie into the political arena and go for his job. Vote for me?
I know next to nothing about politics but that's not exactly nessicary in this modern age, is it? Most Sun readers would vote for a floating cube with a mouth if the propaganda was good enough.

Hey freakenders.

How are you all? I hope you're not sore, sick or sedated for any reason. There's a lot of 'it' going round.

I went to the BAFTA pitching thing the other night and it was very interesting. I learned how to survive and bullshit my way through Cannes. Although, the chance of me ever going to Cannes is beyond remote. Still, it was useful because I managed to 'network' and mingle with other writer types and make some contacts. Creatively, I pulled.
I offered some advice to a younger guy and that helped me to feel useful because, before he came over, I was sat at the back, drinking Pepsi and avoiding pretentious types with beards who were 'knee-deep in a project about current affairs and issues'. It's the stiffness of writers that I don't like. I do it for fun, for some kind of release. Anything to do with pleasing markets and demographics freaks me out. I went through all that with 'Bent Soul' and it left a bitter taste in my mouth (Along with a 'Grrr' face towards Hollywood types)
In other news, I joined The Sock Monkey Army, aquired some new rad t-shirts, watched the new Rush video, settled into my new job incredibly quickly and made some songs. I say songs, they're more like little noise cookies.

This song is for Nick and Adam P:

Manic Street Preachers 'Underdogs'

Freakend/Geekend in Leicester

This weekend was both freaky and geeky. It was very, very good indeed. We took in the Star Wars Special at Leicester's Space Centre where we saw lots of cool things that made me go 'wow' lots, maybe more so than the hordes of kids that were there. We saw lots of space-based stuff but Star Wars dominated the centre and we just soaked it all up. You're never too old for Star Wars. I aced a themed quiz, got some cool photos of props and stuff and offered a Pepsi to a Storm Trooper so I was happy as Salacious Crumb .
We also went to some very cool bars (The Dry Dock, Stoney Cove) and took in some cool sights (Abbey Park, Engelbert Humperdinck's house). We headed out last night to a few other bars and clubs and Adam, Kylie's brother, took us to some of his usual haunts. One place, The Village had changed a little since he last visited as it was now a gay bar complete with a wise-cracking drag queen that we bantered with for a bit. I was actually relieved because it looked like a louts bar from the outside. It was a decent place and we stayed for a few drinks and a game of pool.
We went off to a indie club called Fan Club after politely declining the invitation to go the drag queen's birthday party at a nearby club. It's not that we didn't want to go, in fact, we were set to change our plans. it's only when we saw that the place was rammed that we opted for Fan Club.
We drinked and danced at Fan Club and walked over to the haunted Guildhall and ran around there for a bit. That place is very spooky and has a scary history so decided to make a 'Most Haunted' parody that was mostly a collection of nonsensical sentences and rude jokes. We didn't see the mad monk which is probably for the best (You're supposed to die if you do and that would have put a blight on the weekend).
It was a lot of fun and my thanks goes to Kylie's amazing family for the kind of weekend that makes you realise what life is all about. My head is a hell of a lot clearer that it was before the weekend. Not even starting a new job can tarnish my good, relaxed and extremely chilled out mood.
Kylie is having a nap, so tired is she from all the activities. She's probably got the right idea.

FUTURES?

So, I've decided to switch occupations after being offered a job that pays a little better and is closer to home. It's actually quite sad to leave my current job, despite only being here for a little over two months. The people are decent enough and the role is pretty good. it's just too far and too little money. I can't wait for a permanent contract because I need more money now.
This isn't just for me. For the first time in my relatively young life, I have someone who cares about me in the same way I care about them. I have a bright future with an amazing person. I'm with someone that makes me want to do better, everyday and in everything; work, play and the creative. She doesn't hold me back, put me down or tell me what to do.
She doesn't need to because I want to do it, for myself and for her.
Most likely, I'll hate my next job but at least it will pay more and fund the things I really want in life; the nice apartment in Wolverhampton and the crazy, crazy times. This is something I never thought I'd want or get. Previously, it's been crazy in the worst way.
At the moment we need all the money we can get to make this happen. I'm going to work my ass off to ensure that it does. She's totally worth it.
It's not all 9 to 5, I've been asked to join an evening of pitching ideas to BAFTA people which is being held at the venue that played DRTN last year. I have no idea how it will go. I'll probably run out of ideas and throw a bunch of puzzling piffle at them. Either way, it'll be a good opportunity to network. I need to rub elbows with these people, physically and mentally.
If all is good and golden, two little films with have my name slapped onto them in a 'Written By' capacity. These are films that you MAY EVEN BE ABLE TO SEE! This starts in a couple of weeks.
I'm also doing stand-up on the 29th which could possibly be a very, very bad idea.

Chris

WHEN IN ROME...

Grr.
I've been given a 'polite' word by my boss (Well, given by a co-worker but scripted by my boss) that I shouldn't be writing in my note book. I'm not sure why this is a problem because everybody doodles in their pads whilst waiting for things to do and systems to kick in.
I just 'doodle' more than some of the people here because I don't talk to anyone, read gossip magazines or join in with the masses amounts of bitching that goes on.
To me, I'm just trading vices, so to speak. I can work AND jot down the odd idea BECAUSE I don't talk, bitch or leave my desk to do a combination of both. I'm sorry that I can't completely lock myself into the work. I do a decent job, I just like to keep my creative clocks ticking. It's not like I'm in emergency services or anything. Making script notes might be a tad bad then.
I was also given some advice by a co-worker that a "messy desk gives the impression that you're busy". I always thought boss-types hated messy desks but I decided to oblige this unwritten rule in order to keep the gnats away from my little picnic.
I've messed up my desk. There is paper everywhere.
What a cunning deception.
I look busy now. Perhaps I should really go to town and use my desk as a toilet.

Whoooooo Arrrre You?

I started air-drumming with my pens at work. It started out pretty casual and then ended up all Keith Moon. People eye me strangely in the office and I can't say I blame them.