GOINGS A-GOING ON

I start a new job tomorrow after a little under two weeks of unemployment. It's nothing fancy but it will fund the frolicals and various adventures. Occupation-wise, I'm never hugely bothered as to what I do. All I really ask for is to be left alone to get on with the work and the people around me. You couldn't do that at my last job because of big-faced jobsworths and their endless desire to make miserable. Hopefully, this job will be better. The place doesn't look like a prison for one thing. It's all open plan and shiney new. They don't except actual money anywhere on the grounds. You have to use a card like in sci-fi comics. Nifty.

Kylie also has a new job. It's actually at one of my old places of work (BARCLAYS!!!) It's not forever however, the girl has a better future in her ideal field. This is just transitional. Barclays almost killed me. She's made of stronger, sterner and cooler stuff.

I have enjoyed being jobless. We both knew it wouldn't be for too long but I have enjoyed the cheap but fun days of walking around, mild shopping and chuckling. We didn't form that band but there is always another time. I'm writing another film that may/may not see the light of your respective homes. Keep your fingers and hooves crossed.
The last one is being tweaked after a year in editing hell.

Kylie is now customising an old jacket of mine with an 'Evil Bunny' patch. She was previously shouting at her Sims while I was writing on the bed (not literally). A 'Tragic Clown' began to bother her and she didn't know how to get rid of the annoying, red-nosed bugger.

Happy Birthday, Blogger Dan! He is the author of one of my favourite blogs and always keeps me up to speed with the latest goings on. Long may his ship sail.

I've become a total 'New Pornographers' junkie. I've had a lot of time to listen to music and they completely rule. I wish I was in a band like that. Neko Case wouldn't let me in and I don't blame her. Her and her band mates have no real use for a triangle and nose flute player.

Regards,

Boo-Boo

Neon Silhouettes

Chris
Kylie
Blair
Truman
Nick
Chris and Kylie

Phew!

Oh, what a week it's been. My first week of unemployment, my first real holiday since Spongebob knows when and it was certainly strange and definitely enjoyable. I got to spend a great deal of time with my girlfriend and new house mate, Kylie so that was awesome.
We both looked for new jobs, made plans and played Resident Evil 4.

I really couldn't play that game without her as I'm impatient and I find this particular game to be incredibly scary. If you've ever played it you will know what I mean. Anyway, she's been helping me kill zombies and sort things out.
The big shadow that was cast over the week was the whole 'will they or won't they?' situation that my former employers decided to play with me. Apparently, the goodbye email I sent last week didn't sit well with some people and they were threatening to withdraw my last paycheck. I realised that this would be completely wrong as I worked my months notice and, whatever happened on the last day, they couldn't just block money that I've worked for. I'm guessing it was just a scare tactic to stop the 'drones' from thinking for themselves. You should be allowed to say what's on your mind on your final day. Those that have read my email will agree that it wasn't aimed at anyone in particular, it just expressed concerns about the way the 'higher ups' run things. Apparently, one of the top guys was so enraged that he demanded that I be escorted from the building. Sadly for him, I'd already left. I left to applause and people congratulating me for saying the things they wanted to say.
To be honest, I'd expect nothing less than a childish 'break up' from my former employer. This is a company that doesn't even pay sick and fired one member of staff for the heinous crime of suffering from depression.
Still, I'm out of that shit now and I feel sorry for the good, good people who are stuck there, trying to buckle down and think of the cash. I did that for way too long and I got nothing out of it. Actually, that's not true. I made some amazing friends and, when it was allowed, I had some good laughs with them. I'm glad I left before it gets worse and it is likely to. My former company does not like people getting on and the people at the top of the tree want their workers to be just that.

(((Crush independence, creativity and lust for life.
You're here forever.
We DO hurt people.)))

I've been busy looking for a job that, if I'm going to have to work a 'normal' job it has to be good money and with a good atmosphere. I've also been doing some film stuff and, fingers crossed, things will work out there. Who really knows? I've always been a fan of surprises. It makes things more exciting. I want to have a good Freakend this weekend. It's needed.

I hope you know what I mean.

rAnDoM!

ALL THAT

What Ho.

How is everyone?

Fine!...Turn to page 34

Rubbish...Turn to page 14

Does anyone remember those Fighting Fantasy gamebooks by Ian Livingstone and Steve Jackson? Death Trap Dungeon? Appointment with F.E.A.R?

"You see an ORC. It's pretty big. Do you go left or right?

Left...23
Right...42"

And if you chose the wrong thing you'd just cheat and chose the right one. I had loads of them and I don't think I ever played them properly.

Anyway, all that was pretty irelevent. My mind shot off on a freaky, nostalgic tangent. Some day, I will order a big box of Garbage Pail Kids and spend the day unwrapping packs and chewing gum.

Valentines Day was yesterday and, despite leaving yesterday's love-themed blog posticle, K.P and I didn't celebrate the day. We're not fans of it because, well, who needs a day to compact that loving feeling? We just had the usual chuckles and watched some 'Seinfeld'. I've been unwell for a few days with mild flu (or 'man flu' as we all know that men are wimps when it comes to sniffles.)

I'm leaving work tomorrow and, to commemorate the occasion, a gaggle of bills have decided to jump out of the bushes and mug me of my much needed cash. Gah!
Still, it could be worse. I could still be toiling at eon. That needed to be nipped in the bud and there are zero regrets.

I've been cleaning out my drawers and binning a load of junk that's built up over the last few months. My top draw is almost filled with odd 1p/2p coins. I doubt there is enough there to buy anything of worth. I could probably get a packet of crisps out of it. I've also found some latex gloves, various note pads filled with drawings and a sweater that I wouldn't be seen dead in these days.

I'm ticking away the final couple of days, doing nothing work-related because there is no point. I've never really been into this job so why start now?

Next stop: unemployment!

Got any spare change? I'll dance for shiny coins.

Kylie,

However long you love me for, I'll be happier than I’ve ever been. I'm excited about the future because the present is so amazing. I'm pinching myself as I write this, just to make sure it's real.

Thank you for being you and for being with me

Lots of loving loving love,

Chris

"Friend, Mentor...God?"

Blair has written a nice post about our friendship during our time in this clerical prison. It brought a lump to my throat. His Blog is always fantastic and you should visit it when you need a visual uplift.

THINGS I'M GOING TO MISS ABOUT WORK (THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE THE ACTUAL JOB) PART DEUX

MASCOTS AND CHARACTERS

(Balloons)

Kylie M (Pre-Kylie P days): Burst by Dom using a pencil after he got bored of me waggling it in his face (the balloon).

Steven Hawking: Burst in a savage attack by Liz.

Gail Porter: Dom's faithful (And protected) mascot who was accidently burst by the man himself.

Professor Box:

When Dom wore round bottle-rimmed glasses and a black moustache, he became the silent and scary Professor Box. When I did the same I became an upbeat Victorian detective who said things like: "I'm afraid there's been another case of horrible, horrible MUUUUR-DEEER". This was also linked to 'Moustache Friday/Thursday' and 'Head Fuck Friday' where Liz decided to count down the seconds of the working day, much to the chagrin of everyone around her.
All of the good times stem from a truly amazing bunch of people. They have saved my smile and my sanity countless times and I'm going to miss seeing them everyday. Here's to the following people:

Blair Frame--One of the best things about working this tedious job for so long was making the acquaintance of this quirky character. Mr Frame is a true original with a brain full of bounce and bright ideas. Some of the best and creatively fulfilling moments have been coming up with various characters and ideas. I really hope that Fizzle will find his arena and soon. A spark such as him is going to be wasted at eon.

Phill--Phill Spicer, one of the nicest, friendliest guys I have ever met. He always has time for people and never seems to let things get on top of him. I've often envied his rational attitude as work-related things get to me so easily. Phill is also funny as fuck too. He created 'Bruce Hornsby', a part-man, part-rhino horn hybrid.

Dom--The White Kanye West, owner of the campest shirts known to man. Sitting next to this cool character was an eye-opener and we endlessly pranked each other and grossed each other out. It was never dull and, in this office, that's saying something.

Liz--Liz has become my 'on-screen sister' and, although roughly seven years my junior, she has given me much needed support and guidance during dark and confusing times. She's wise beyond her years, sweet but tough when it's needed. She never let's anyone tell her what to do and she stands up for what she believes in. This is something I've always admired about her. Liz's star is in ascendence, trust me.

Gaz--Although Gaz and I sort of knew each other during our time working for Barclays, we never really had a chance to chat. Working in this hell gave me a chance to get to know Gaz and find out what a good guy he is. Gaz has killer taste whose recommendations have broadened my cultural horizons and helped me focus on writing for me as opposed to everyone else. He's a whip smart, multiple winner of the 'Anti- Corporate Cup' who throws a mean house party. Everyone should have a 'Moran Invitational'. All hail the man they sometimes call 'The Viking'. Amen.

Portman--"YOOOOOOOU SHUT UP!" will always be ingrained in my memory as will the various dry put downs Portman has fired off since I've known him. Before he was unfairly moved from the team for bullshit management reasons, Portman was a great counter-balance to myself and the rest of 'Team Splendid'. Fake battles with him were always fun, even the 'Sour Milk Incident'. His girlfriend is also related to John Bonham.

Honourable mentions:

Denise, Tony, Rebecca Whitehouse, Beccy Pope, Neela, Dave, Louise, Lin, Kerry and everyone else who has lightened the load and brightened the day at eon.

To all the managers (Except Jenny) I raise a hearty middle-digit and leave you with instructions on how to go fuck yourselves. There are so many unpleasant,
corporate jobsworths at that company who deserve to be shot into the hottest part of the sun. It's people like them that are crushing the spirits of people who want to enjoy their lives, despite having to work for fucktards and losers that laughably call themselves 'superiors' and 'leaders'.

Especially people like 'Big Face'. If there was ever an example of what happens when consume too much corporate joy-juice, this truly horrible 'woman' (I'm still not 100%) is an example of why you should never, ever take your dogsbody office job seriously. You begin to look like something out of an Aphex Twin video and nobody likes you.

That being said, I'm going to enjoy my last week. Let prattle commence..

Cheese and Pineapple On Sticks

Pictures from assorted good times over the past week or so. Aside from that it's a parade of packing, moving and impromtu dancing.

If you're ever in Coventry I recommend a place called Browns. It's swish. Pricey but swish nonetheless.

FASHIONABLE MISERY

I’ve noticed a new fad creeping up the backstairs of my peers; a desire to WANT to be miserable. What’s that about? Who WANTS to be miserable, to be trapped? I hate it when I get my ‘downers’ because I have little or control over them. They always come and ruin my good time, like invaders. I hate it when it happens because no one WANTS to be miserable. I lock myself away to stop myself bothering other people because when you’re in that kind of state, NOTHING can snap you out of it. You just have to let it pass like shitty rain clouds.

I’m not saying that I have depression because, thanks to these ‘misery mongers’ that term has been diluted. People now assume that it’s merely a cry for attention or compliments. This is due to the type of people that CHOOSE to parade (Or slither) around bumming people out. Why?
It’s mostly because of TOO MUCH MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE and all that rot.

Real, anxiety-ridden people with real, anxiety-ridden problems are lumped in with the poser flock; people in ‘Nightmare before Christmas’ hoodies that hang out in the middle of town, staring at their shit-stained Converse in some bullshit misery en masse.

These people, these fucking FAKERS, are ruining it for people who ACTUALLY HAVE PROBLEMS. REAL problems, not ‘That guy has better hair than me and I want to die because he seems to get all the girls while I’m going to waste’. Boo hoo! Have you ever stopped to think that the very reason the object of your supposed desire doesn’t want you fiddling with her no-no parts is because of your PATHETIC, POST-TEENAGE WOE-IS-ME-FOR-NO-GOOD-REASON DIDDUMS?

These WANKERS are the kind of people that throw around ‘suicide’ in casual conversation.

“Do you want a coffee?”

“No, but I’d like to commit suicide”

“Ooooh, what’s the matter?”


It’s not a cry for help, it’s merely a chance to fish for compliments which they take in, cheer up and then START THE WHOLE, DEPRESSING CIRCLE AGAIN! It’s grim egotism.
Fuck off, grow up and go Goth. At least then I won’t have to waste time placating your ego when I could talk to someone who is really low.

Again, I’m NOT saying that I’m one of the ‘true’ depressed people. I’ve taken steps to better my situation and quell the personal disharmony. It’s taken a lot of time, money and strain to iron out the personal kinks but I’ve done my best to make my life as good as possible. If any of you don’t agree, that’s fine. I just felt the need to get the frustration out there and Blogger is the finest forum for that (as is masturbation if you’re single)

This is all from people I know. I am not speaking for the world.

SHOCK OF THE NEW

So much going on...It's hard to keep up. Phew. Kylie is now living with me and we are sorting out things (i.e the mass of mess that is my room) and making Westfield all nice, cosy and, more importantly, fun (Until September when we head to a shiney new flat in Wolverhampton)
She's started her new job today, I'm leaving my job next Friday and it's snowing like a mad bugger. It's all go.

I'm going to my first gig of 2007 next Monday to see the NME Tour featuring C.S.S and others. I'm also seeing Blood Red Shoes on Tuesday with my good pal Lindsay. Before that it's a trip to Conventry and then Leicester for some fun in those respective areas. Kylie is basically saying goodbye to everyone. Not forever, just for now. I hope they don't think I'm stealing her or anything.

Wow. If someone would have said a year ago that I'd be living with a girl I love, I would have laughed them out of my personal dance space. It would be easier to accept the film screening (I can't believe that was almost a year ago). Strange, huh?

Life is certainly full of surprises. Otter pleasing surprises.

Let's hear it for toast!

RANDOM FREAKEND PICTURES

Pictures from Friday's Glitterball and Saturday's Birthday Bash for my brother.

My brother's full-on charm offensive.
Nick, Matt, David J and Blair

The Glitterball was good fun. It was kind of like an elaborate school disco but, you know, more gay. The bar was pricey through so I opted to stay off the booze. This was for the best because I don't really drink that much anymore and I didn't want to make a fool of myself in front of Kylie's friends. Or fall asleep. Or slide across the dance floor to 'Groove is in the heart'. I'm sure you get my point.

Saturday was my brother's birthday and we went to the usual stomping grounds to celebrate. We had an all-star cast this weekend and the turn out was great. The birthday boy had a good time, the music
was awesome and we jigged a merry dance.

Truman, keeping it unreal.
Glitterball shoes.
Apple Sourz at The Royal London


My hand.

See ALL PUNS BLAZING for more dirty details about Saturday