Parker & Erin

I do quite a lot of online surveys to get some extra cash for things like books, clothes and music. It's a little bit here and there that helps when work-related money is tied up elsewhere. 
I've noticed in doing these things that you often get screened out for not having kids. So, and I know this is kind of wrong, but I've started to fib a little to get past the screening process and get the reward. Again, I know this isn't cricket but I know I'm not the only one doing it. It's par for the course with these things.

However, I have noticed a strange (sort of) downside to making up a kid I don't have. You see, although I'm lying to get the small reward that will add towards that online voucher (and those Judge Dredd books I want), my answers regarding the 'kids' are getting more and more consistent, with a narrative in place.

I used to whip through the questions without care but now he has a back-story, likes and dislikes. The unnamed tike has interests just like his* Dad. We have been to Disney Land at least twice, with a view to go again at the end of the year. The kid is smart, more savvy than his parents and, although not being a total angel, is smart enough to know right from wrong and where the literal boundaries are when he's playing outside. He enjoys holidays with the whole family and runs around holiday camps with his cousins, just like I used to.

His Grandfather balance is 2, compared to my 0. He has these fellows to relate to and spend time with. He's weary of the Grandmother he rarely sees and I feel guilty about that. He's heard my comments to his Mother and spoken to his older cousin who knows the score on that. We're all looking forward to visiting the rest of the family in America. When it thunders, we'll stand outside in the outhouse and watch the lightening. 

Basically, what I'm saying is that lying that you have a family to get a few quid will only serve to make you realise your past mistakes, how unprepared you are,how you really should have tried harder at school and at work and how secretly, confusingly broody you actually are.


(*the gender is not set. In fact, I flit between son (Parker) and daughter (Erin) which is probably much more mental, when you really think about it)